I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
