Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
