Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
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I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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