he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize