good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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