I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
