so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
