she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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