its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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