About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
