good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
