Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
