Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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