How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
