Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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