nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
