i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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