My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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