The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
