That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
