so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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