If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
