I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
