I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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