Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
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But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
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You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My ass is underappreciated
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize