:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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