Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize