Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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