I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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