Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
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