I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
