I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
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