Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
