i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize
