i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
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You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
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I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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