drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
