Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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