She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I deserve this hangover.
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