Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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