It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
