Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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