Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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