Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
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The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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