just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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