Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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