so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
