Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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