weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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