You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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