Your tits are I can't wait for
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
