if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
