I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
