Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
