i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize