We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
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we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
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I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Someone signed my nipple.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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