those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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