the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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