He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
