it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
